"GENTLEMEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH TROY AND MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD AT ALL"
"sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse"
"oh rad bring it in"
this isn’t the dog park
this isn’t the dog park
My Uncle forgot to roll up the window to his truck, and we found this little guy inside.
He hates you.
He hates everything.
But especially you.
that owl is almost entirely head. Head and hatred.
IT’S SO CUTE
HEAD AND HATRED
if u think teenage girls are crazed and hormonal and irrational you should see what happens when you tell a grown ass man “no”
I brought this up to my mom recently and my brother overheard and he was like “NO, WOMEN ARE FUCKING PSYCHOS” and I kind of just looked at my mom like point proven.
Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story.
So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got thirsty and decided what the hell, Ima get myself a Coke. So I went down to the vending machine on our floor and swiped my card and pressed the button to vend the Coke. Well, TWO cokes popped out.
I looked around, wondering if I was on one of those punk’d shows, and grabbed both bottles. Suddenly, a loud thrumming came from the machine, and lo and behold, 6 MORE COKES CAME OUT.
After checking my debit card statement, I found that I was only charged for ONE coke. Feeling giddy but slightly guilty, I nabbed all 8 bottles of coke and went back to my room. After telling my roommate what happened, she decided to go back to the coke machine with me and see if only the Cokes are affected.
She bought two Sprites, and what the fuck do ya know, she got those damn Sprites, AS WELL AS 11 FREE COKES.
This of course jammed the machine, and before I knew it, I was on my knees with my arm up the Coke machine, practically birthing these little fuckers. I even read off their names on their bottles as I handed them to my roommate. We also found a random Cherry Coke had popped out as well.
Behold our finished family. 19 cokes, 2 Sprites, and a Cherry Coke, all the result of a very overworked and confused Coke machine.
I am literally Chris Pratt
this is so cute and it’s making me smile a lot
barty crouch had to grade tests
Owls may be symbols of wisdom, but they’re actually complete morons
I’M BIG DON’T TOUCH ME
My anaconda will consider it
nah son, i ain’t got no snapchat. I’m old-fashioned. just fax it to me. fax me the nudes.
i wanna feel how dogs feel when you let them go in a big field